How NOT to Win Friends And Influence People

I won't say I haven't done this myself, however looking back I realize I wasn't fooling anyone and I looked like a pathetic idiot to boot. What am I talking about? I'm talking about trying to seem like I was doing better,happier, and treated better by my man. I have noticed lately with the anonymity of the interwebs that it is easier for people to lie about how awesome they, their life or most popular their man is, when in reality they are miserable. I did this before myspace, facebook or twitter. I just did the smile and fawn all over my man. No one was fooled though because, depending on which man it was they were either hearing him cuss and scream at me or sleeping with him in the laundromat bathroom. Recently a friend was trying to keep up the farce after two days before calling me to vent about how awful her man is and how he never pays any bills and takes all her money. She called me and was bragging about how he was taking her to dinner somewhere NICE for dinner! A few hours later she calls and we're talking about everything under the sun. I am waiting for her to tell me, but I can't stand it so I ask her where he took her and what she ordered. I'm figuring Red Lobster or some such. She gets quiet then mumbles "Burger King, and I paid."I didn't laugh until I hung up. That's what I'm talking about....don't tell me your man bought you a diamond as big as a walnut when it's a poppy seed sized diamonique. Don't claim he bought a floor length mink coat when you know dern well it's an opossum vest! They're not crocodile shoes they're crocodile patterned house shoes! Seriously stop trying to make it sound like you live in a mansion when we all know if the storms get too windy you're out there throwing tires on your roof. Everyone has something in their life they wish was better or nicer, but when you lie to make it seem better you look like aan idiot. I don't have to lie any more thank goodness, but I wouldn't because I see how stupid it makes someone look.