Friday, August 23, 2013

Koala Bears are Evil

For a while now I have been trying to convince my dear friend that Koala bears are not some cute fuzzy little bear, they are pure, undiluted evil. They will sneak in your home at night and murder you, then rip your face off and wear it to trick your less intelligent friends and family members into letting them in so they can murder them, rip their faces off and wear their get the idea. Yesterday I was perusing Facebook and a friend of mine was watching Nat/Geo Wild and said there was something about Koala bears having chlamydia. That is right your heard me. CHLAMYDIA!! What is going on in the Koala community? And more importantly is this some new tactic to get people to think they are cute little victims of sexually transmitted disease? Something is up with those little tricksters and we need to be on our toes because the next thing you hear there will be a new strain of chlamydia going from koala bears to humans. I can't understand why no one sees their evil but me. Either way something wicked this way smells of eucalyptus and the clap. BEWARE!!!!

Saturday, August 3, 2013

Exes and Liars

Today I was on facebook early this morning (my new kitten Gracie likes to launch herself at my head like a little velvet missile with claws)at five thirty or six a.m. every morning. Anyway I was perusing facebook as I do every morning, telling folks happy birthday and such and I came across something that gave me a chill. One of my exes (yes I have a few gimpy girls need love too) anywho I was overwhelmed with a sick feeling just looking at his name. I won't tell you dear readers what his name is because it's not my place and even writing it makes me sick. I have seen his wife's (the girl he left me for)profile and she is always happy this and oh how good my life is that but I know better. I lived with him for a year and he is a terror. He is controlling to the point that when I walked to my GIRL friend's car to borrow some lipstick he screamed at me for three hours and threatened to beat me because he thought I was trying to get with her. He abused me emotionally and verbally but never physically, sometimes that is worse. He also abused my daughter who was nine at the time. I was thinking about why people get on facebook and lie about how wonderful their lives are and had to write this down and get it out. I don't lie when I tell you I am happy I am telling the truth. I have a wonderful life now with a man who is super duper laid back and awesome. I go where I want when I want if I want and he smiles and says have fun. I know what this woman is going through because I lived it myself and I just cannot seem to grasp why women lie and act like they are happy and being treated well. He never hit me but I know he hits her. I don't know dear readers (all four of you lol) I guess since getting away and getting a better happier life I don't understand anymore. I acted like he was wonderful when I was with him too. Is it just an instinct to pretend it's all roses and romance when it's really not? Can someone explain to me why we lie and protect to the bitter end the one who hurts us the most?? I don't know the answers. If you do please let me know. As for me I am happy except of course I am awake on a Saturday at 8:08 a.m. because of a furry missile. My life is good and I am just going to enjoy it and if any of you figure out this mystery give me a holler cause I am lost.