Tuesday, September 24, 2013
I was thinking today, while waiting in the car for Barry to get some things in Sam's Club I spent some time alone with myself. This is something I rarely do any more since all the electronic geegaws have entered my life. Between Facebook, Twitter, Instagram,and Angry Birds I don't really sit quietly by myself and think any more. It was nice. I had a nice visit with me. Anyway I was thinking about my life and all the people who have come and gone. I was thinking about life and how it is kind of like a castle. Every person is a room with a door. I have many rooms. Some have been closed off for ages and some need to be locked and chunked out the window of another room into the moat. Some are warm and inviting and bring joy and comfort. Some are destroyed beyond repair, yet I haven't bothered to shut and lock the door on them for fear I might miss that room. There is no comfort in those rooms, the walls have holes, profanity spray painted on the ceiling and the floors are torn up, yet I didn't want to close them off...to let them go. I have nicer rooms, rooms with a fireplace, my favorite book and a cup of coffee. Rooms that make me happy. Yet I continued to hold onto those nasty, filthy, trashy rooms because I was afraid to close the door. I recently learned that those rooms bring nothing but pain. I closed a door I didn't want to close because leaving it open was like allowing raw sewage to creep into the rest of the castle. I closed the door and I was afraid. I was afraid I would miss that room, but I don't. The rest of the rooms had told me for years that room didn't belong here in my castle. The day I closed that door my life got cleaner and better and happier. I have many rooms in my castle. The ones I choose to keep are warm and bright and filled with joy, love and goodness. If you think you'll miss someone if you cut them completely out of your life, you will keep holding on and going into that dirty filthy mess and you might miss some of the nicer rooms you haven't explored yet. When you're wading through all the raw sewage in a dank dark nasty room, you could be sipping coffee in a bright, warm, joyful room filled with love. This may not make sense, but it's been a while since I spent time with me so I am not sure if I am nuts or not.