How The Quilters Almost Got Me

For those of you who don't know, here in Paducah, Kentucky every year they have "Quilter's Week ". Apparently someone, years ago built a quilt museum here and it attracts them like ants to sugar. Now don't get me wrong, quilts are awesome! They keep you warm in winter and some are very intricate! I learned a little bit about quilting from my grandmother (on daddy's side) when I was a kid so if I had to, like if I were forced at gunpoint I could put together a simple block pattern quilt top quite nicely, but I don't care for it (needles, fingers, blood) so I make jewelry instead. Where was I? Oh yeah so museum and Quilter's everywhere one week in April every year and there are TONS of quilters! I can't say much because I grew up in Paris, Tennessee home of the World's Biggest Fish Fry and a giant catfish on a stick when you come into town! Seriously! A few years ago I was carrying a "quilted " purse during that week and walking down the sidewalk minding my business when I heard a lot of chit chat and what sounded like a lot of people walking behind me. I realized it was the quilters that I had noticed getting out of a big windowless van earlier. They kept looking at me and whispering and I thought I heard the word "prophecy " and so I quickly went the opposite way, but now they were behind me! I guess they had circled around. They were gaining on me so I tried to walk faster, but I'm gimpy and fast is not a word my feet know. Suddenly, they overtook me, surrounding me and I felt a tiny stabbing pain in my arm! One of the ladies took my arm and said "come along quietly dear or we'll be forced to quilt your face onto your dog's head." "You can do that? "I asked in awe. "Well we don't like to, but sometimes we must get drastic! You are the one from the prophecy! " I didn't understand so she heaved a great sigh and said that my purse was the "Quilter's Holy Grail " and I was all "Wellllll to be honest I stole this from my sister..." she looked confused and just as she began to say something....I woke up. Whew! It was all a bad dream, however I never go out during Quilter's Week, I can't find my quilted purse anywhere and if anyone sees my sister please tell her to call home! We miss her since she disappeared ..